Understanding Severus Snape
by Lady of the Witty Remarks
Summary: To fully and truly understand the enigma that is Severus Snape is almost an impossibility. Many will never come close to understanding the man behind the mask. If one wants to understand a Slytherin, one must think like a Slytherin. 3 mild swear words.


**Understanding Severus Snape**

To fully and truly understand the enigma that is Severus Snape is almost an impossibility. Many will never come close to understanding the man behind the mask. This is because, to understand him, one must get past that Gryffindor thought process that the Wizarding World has given us. If one wants to understand a Slytherin, one must _think _like a Slytherin. And only when we think in a Slytherin mindset can we come close to understanding why Severus Snape was what he was.

Before we can begin, the reader must get into the Slytherin mindset. Yes, Slytherins are described as cunning people who will use any means to achieve their ends. But that is not true for all Slytherins. No, what truly makes a man (or woman) a Slytherin is the ambition. That underlying need to prove oneself as someone worth knowing. To be top in everyone's minds. To be more than just another student. Slytherins want to make a name for themselves. They want to be revered. They want to be remembered.

So being a Slytherin who is bullied, hated even by his own house, is enough to make anyone a bit depressed. Severus Snape just wanted to be known, to be adored, to be revered as someone higher. That is why he acted the way he did with his students.

Snape was made to feel small, inferior, his whole life. I know what you're thinking. Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." However, when a child grows up in an environment in which they are nothing to their parents, or father, that saying flies out the window. The child knows nothing else. He is raised thinking he is inferior, and has not yet grown enough to be able to truly think for himself. He has no outside experience to hold against what he has learned at home. And then Severus leaves for Hogwarts, where he can start anew. He is sorted into Slytherin- a noble house, he's been taught. Everything will be all right now.

Except it isn't. It isn't all right. He is bullied, bullied by the four most popular kids in school. And his Slytherin housemates don't come to his defense; oh, no, it's every man for himself. Especially when that man wears old, worn clothing, weird smocks, and is friends with a _Mudblood. _Snape is hated- hated by every single person in the school. Including his housemates. As a Slytherin, he needs to be accepted, to be held in high esteem. That is what every Slytherin needs. To be accepted.

But Severus is not accepted. He is a perpetual outcast. Everyone bullies him, and large crowds show up to laugh and mock him as the Marauders –cowards who never took him on one-on-one – publicly humiliated him in the most vile and cruel way possible, all to "teach him a lesson about being evil." No wonder he went to the Dark side – if everyone on the Light side treated him like dirt, when the adults turned their back on their student, then wouldn't it be the Light side that seemed the amoral one?

And his choice of friends does not help him. He is friends with a Mudblood, and no Slytherin can accept a boy who hangs out with one of _them. _He is pushed farther away from his house, and Lily Evans is his only companion. He becomes clingy, jealous. She is, after all, the only good thing in his life. And watching Potter, his hated enemy, who never ceases to be an arrogant prat with self-entitlement issues, try to woo the girl Severus has fallen for – well, that is unbearable. And Severus sees what Lily herself cannot see; Lily is falling for the toerag. He tries to tell her this, to warn her away before it is too late, but she denies it. She cannot tell that it is happening. Severus becomes depressed. The creep was stealing everything from him. His pride, his dignity, his reputation, and now his girl. This is when the future Death Eaters lunge.

Lord Voldemort is the perfect predator. He seeks out the weak, the lonely, the needy, and the powerless. He seeks out those he can manipulate. Find out what a body wants, and you can use that weakness against him. A boy, abused at home, feeling weak and powerless? Promise him control and power beyond his dreams. A genius inventor who no one believes in? Promise him a use for his inventions. A woman who thirsts, not for blood, but knowledge? Promise her information, intelligence. Promise her you'll teach her curses and potions she could never dream of.

A lost, lonely boy who only wants to be accepted, to be part of the group? Promise him that: acceptance. And he jumps right in.

But I get ahead of myself. I've skipped something important – a defining point in Severus Snape's life. The day he lost Lily Evans.

Again, one must get into the Slytherin mindset. All Severus Snape wanted was to be accepted. And then, that day, all he was doing was walking by. And James Potter attacked him, made a complete and utter fool out of him in front of the whole school. Even his fellow Slytherins were laughing at him. He was a disgrace. And then up stepped Lily. His Lily. She defended him. And inside, he was grateful.

But he obviously couldn't show that on the outside. In fact, she was just making things a hell of a lot worse for him – in the Slytherins' eyes, anyway.

Think about it. Even today, if a guy gets his butt saved by a girl, it's embarrassing. Imagine how embarrassing that had to be in the 1970's. And she was a _Gryffindor! _The enemy of all things Slytherin! He had to get his arse saved by a bloody _Gryffindor! _But worst of all: She was _Muggleborn. _A _Mudblood._ As a person, Severus didn't care about blood. He'd seen it before; he'd seen Muggle blood, Muggleborn blood, half-blood blood, and pureblood blood. And even when examined closely under a microscope, it all looked the same to him. Very red.

But to the people watching! To the people watching, this was horrible! An outrage! A… a hilarity. Severus Snape had to have his butt saved by a _female, __**Muggleborn, GRYFFINDOR! **_Snape would have been ridiculed forever. And so he acted- he acted to save face. Maybe it was wrong. But it was a very Slytherin thing to do. And he didn't mean it. He didn't care that she was Muggleborn! Why would he care now, if he never had before? She was his best friend; he expected her to understand where he was coming from.

She got angry. He understood. He knew what it was like to be ridiculed! He knew what it was like to be hurt! He knew how it felt to be made small, insignificant. He knew how much that hurt. He tried to go apologise, to explain what he had been thinking, but, to his utter surprise, Lily refused to listen.

"You call everyone else of my birth that. Why should I be any different?"

Yes, Lily, he called everyone else of your birth that. But in front of who? In front of Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and Gryffindors, he called people like you "Muggleborn." It was only in front of the Slytherins, the people who actually cared what he called them, that he called them "Mudbloods." He thought you knew that- you'd always been so observant. He thought you'd caught on. He thought, as his best friend, you would understand him, and how his mind worked. But you didn't.

Severus Snape's heart broke that day. That day, he put up the walls.

Cold walls, hard walls, tall walls. Walls so thick it was impossible to break through. He wouldn't be hurt like that again. Never again would he trust someone with his heart, his mind, his emotion. You had thrown it all away as if it were nothing. Never again would he make the mistake of giving himself to someone else.

And Voldemort took him in.

It was a mistake – he saw that soon. They did things he did not want to do. The Dark Lord had tricked him, lied to him. But it was too late to back out. He was stuck.

And he had been right. Lily Evans _did _fall for James I-get-everyting-I-want Potter. And they married. And had a kid. She died for that kid.

Oh, how he hated that kid.

Everyone thought that he hated Harry because Snape thought he was like his father. Good. That's what Snape wanted them to think. But Severus knew the truth. He knew that Harry Potter was nothing like his father. Sure, the boy looked like the jerk who had made his life a living hell. But he was not his father.

He was his mother.

The kindness, the curiosity, the goodness. Harry Potter was more like his mother than anyone realised.

And he Had. Her. Eyes.

Those eyes tortured Severus Snape for six long years. Snape had to be harsh with him, had to be cruel. It helped him vent his frustration, his anger. But most importantly:

It kept him alive.

Severus had a part to play. He had to be partial to his students. They were all kids of his master's servants. And more than that – everyone else in the school hated his Slytherins. The kids had to feel like someonegave a damn about them.

And yes, Severus Snape was awful to them. He didn't mean to be. But still, even when he was adult, even when he was older, he was ridiculed. And now that he was older, he would not stand for it. He was a Slytherin. He did not like feeling small.

No one would make him feel small again.

~Albus _**Severus **_Potter


End file.
